Hello eveyone, unlike last year’s winter reflection in Melbourne, I reflected on this past half year in Melbourne right in the tropical heat of Jakarta 🔆

Growth observed 🌿

Sometimes I hear people say, ‘You haven’t changed!’ when we meet again after a while. I hope that only refers to how I look and not who I am! Because as Christians, we expect to keep growing once we’re made spiritually alive. I think we do see that when we think back (and we should). Try reflecting back over what you’re like the same time last year and ask yourself if you have grown in any areas at all. It can be a good practice.

Some growth I have come to see, not pridefully but just encouragingly because it indeed is often humbling experiences that make you learn and change.

Less easily provoked ✊

I’m sure I’m still in the easily provoked camp! But I certainly see less agitation than before in dealing with disappointments and unreasonableness where I expect better. That is, I take things in stride more than before. 

I know it is the work of the God who places me where I am trained by occassions frequently enough to make me learn. Because alternatively, I can just keep reminding myself that mature people aren’t easily provoked each time, but remain as irritable as ever if God doesn’t give me the grace to grow anyhow.

More conscious that there is a choice ⚔️

There are more times I am aware I have a choice to make while wrestling with it. While the struggle is real, I understand more that I do have the power to choose what is right. It is always possible to do God’s will.

In a way, it is given, isn’t it? When you grow, you know more. When you know more, you better be more aware, else you are more culpable if you know and do not do right.

Ability to differentiate within myself 🎭

Not talking about being fragmented as a person, but things are clearer when I learn to discern the reality of and the difference between the old and new self that co-exist within me.

Many times when I choose one way, it is because I think the other will hurt or unpleasant otherwise. But as I heard someone said, if what hurts is the old self, I should let it be. Christian living is to be led by the Spirit and to crucify the flesh with its passions and desires. Denying yourself and crucifying will hurt the old self. When that’s the case, let that be as it’s meant to die anyway. In a way, you don’t need to identify too much with it because it is not your identity anymore, you are now a child of God instead.

The end result of being led by the Spirit is in fact the fruit of the Spirit anyway.  You really won’t end up harmed or left injured and aching. Instead you end up with growing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control – why wouldn’t we want that?

More grounded 🌳

Hopefully I continue to be increasingly less easily taken in by the world’s narrative, even when it’s lived out within the church among people we hoped to be different. It is easier to be disappointed with people in christian community because we somehow expect what we hear to be lived out. But of course there will always be a gap, won’t it?

For example, regardless of what they say they believe, seemingly godly men still end up chasing after, bowing their knees, and steered by women or desire for women in a way just like the rest of the world (likewise women). There are examples of various and other worldly pursuits out there. But these don’t negate the truth that creation doesn’t and won’t ever fulfil you. So if you know what the truth is, stay with it. Why live the false narrative of the world just because many do?

Another thing that used to affect me more was hurtful words, because people’s approval matters more to me than I’d admit. God has taught me over the years that my life and worth (and in fact the reality of life and the world too) are not decided nor are they changed by people’s words. Do what people say of you or to you change the reality of your worth, your future, etc?  None.  Only God’s words are truth. Any other are mere opinions which has no power to change anything in reality just because they are said or heard.

Increasingly with time, I learn to recognise people for who they are and who they are not. And be at peace, because God has all things in order.

Things to learn

Apart from the encouraging signs of growth I see, here are some things I know I need to learn and are focusing on.

Eggs in the wrong basket 🧺

I guess we all have tendency to overly rely on our loved ones, understandably so because we do depend on them for many things. It is quite clear how this may often be the case with the married, but singles too aren’t impervious to this temptation. I can easily think too highly of people I look up to and I can imagine how much it may shake me if something were to go wrong or when they disappoint.

I need to remind myself to keep in mind every human person is fallen and limited. Do not rely on any single person because they aren’t able. They simply do not have the capacity you need them to have to care for you sufficiently. Because we are all finite, and we long for the infinite and inexhaustible that is God Himself.

Where am I looking? 👀

I need this reminder, where do I look that are really driving me along in all I do?

Devote yourself to God alone – look not to human’s glory or men’s applause or approval that may come as soon as it goes again.  In fact, do recognise them as the cheap trappings that they are.  Cheap as they have no lasting value, trapping as they will ensnare you.

Notable moments

Lastly, here are some special moments that are on my mind when I think of the past couple of months.

Cousin’s visit to Melbourne 🦘

I am so glad to spend the week with my cousin who visited me from Indonesia earlier this year. She wasn’t one who is out to get a checklist of places to be ticked off as a tourist. Instead, she’s happier to just live in Melbourne through my perspective as a resident – and that’s what she gets (to her delight!).

When she was asked what’s her highlight towards the end of the trip, she said they were:

1. My community
   • The genuine welcome, the keen interest in her, it is ‘eye-opening’ (in a good way 🙂)
   • It is one of my highlights too of her stay, to have so many chatting to and welcoming her, even right into their homes.
2. Local produce
   • Aussie’s milk is eye-opening too, she said, so smooth! 🥛
   • Aussie’s berries are so juicy and fresh 🫐🍓🍒. She said in Spore or Indo, she has to look around for ones that aren’t damaged, but here she wonders where are the damaged ones??
3. My pillows 🛏️
   • They are soooo comfortable, she slept soundly every night.
   • I was thinking may be because of her jetlag 😆. Anyway I told her that yes, that’s where I’m willing to spend here – we pay for comfort in rest, sleep is important!

Eat & Share 🍽️💬

I was at my friends’ from church a few months ago. I hadn’t been there before and that’s the idea. Regularly, we have ‘Eat & Share’ where people volunteer to host a meal at their homes. We then pick our host, preferably where we haven’t been to or the ones with a list of people we do not know too well. This way we get to know others in the wider church family.

There I was with a diverse mix of people in age and backgrounds. The hosts were intentional too in setting up the table already with our names on it so we’re seated mixed as much as possible. We moved around too along the way. I went to speak to two elderly ladies as I wanted to hear their stories (having lived to their 90s). I also remember one of them were interviewed at the church a few years ago and that made an impression on me as I heard how hard her daily life was and yet how she exudes such joy still. She looked forward to heaven, she said. I told her this time that I remember her interview, she asked, ‘Oh, and what did I say?’ She couldn’t remember hahaa..

She talked of her very interesting past of being a jockey, fell off the horse and broke her rib, of her pet kangaroo who’s nursed by her pet dog, and that got into the local newspaper, etc. She’s and has been quite sick for awhile. She goes for dialysis thrice a week and has different cancers, but she lives with a very thankful heart because she experienced being a beloved child of God in the midst of all that, and knows and looks forward to home in heaven. She said Jesus has been there all her life, and that she doesn’t fear death at all and ready to go. She paused at one point as she looked at her friend across the table, then pointed at her and said, ‘don’t you go before me!’ ☝️😠 To which the other elderly lady replied, ‘dont you go before me!’

One time she was invited to a party by the city council (for which she still doesn’t know the reason until now 😂). She hadn’t been to a party for a long time and really wanted to go, but because it was on the same day as her dialysis, she wasn’t allowed to take that leave. She told the hospital staff anyway and went to the party. She said, ‘I thought I was going to drop dead! But I didn’t!’ When she turned up for dialysis the next time, the staff weren’t happy (well, you think!). But they’re always so very kind to her, she said.

When she talked about her husband’s death a few years back, she paused and said life is difficult and has painful moments, and afterwards continued, ‘.. but I just look at the roses, and they are beautiful!’ 🌹

It was such a joyful time to sit and chat and learn from them, that’s the beauty in the family of God which I told my Mom during this trip back to Indo. You are with a mix of people of all ages and backgrounds which you wouldn’t have chosen by yourself. The only similarity I have with this lady, for example, is that we are Christians. And isn’t that the strongest kind of bond you can have? Oh yes, the only earthly one that lasts to eternity.