January was a very busy time for me especially because of a yearly conference I help out with called the Engage Conference (highly recommended if you want to be equipped to engage with God’s Word and to teach it to others).

Post conference now, there are still heaps to do. But I’ve committed to more down time to sit down, reflect and write this year. So I have scheduled this into my days anyhow, here I am! 🙂 As said in my previous post, I’ll write some reflections from 2023.

As with every year, I’ve learnt some things. I think it often appears like a change suddenly happens in you (or someone else), but really a change happens not in one momentous event or by a single trigger, rather it builds up gradually, perhaps unrealised for a long time and it’s like you only notice when things crosses over.

Anyway, some random thoughts to start with —

Don’t end up like the dead bird 🐦😵

Early last year, I was in my home office when I heard a very loud sound of something hitting the glass window in my living room. I walked over and saw some feather still sticking to my window. Stepping out to my balcony, looking over my neighbour’s courtyard downstairs, I realised that a silly bird was flying like The Flash with full confidence and hit my window headlong 😬, and ended up looking like this:

It was still moving / twitching when I saw it, but soon after, bugs were feasting on its carcass. I texted my neighbour that he’s got new fertilizers for his garden soil.

And I was thinking, .. wow, when you don’t have a good sight of reality, you may be thinking you are flying at your fastest, not realising that you’re dashing ever closer to your death every millisecond. And you become fertilizers. I’m sure five seconds before looking like that, the birdy didn’t expect that — I mean, I don’t think it’s a suicide!

But seriously, it didn’t know it’s the day of death, the window certainly looks clear, but it is in fact death staring squarely at you. Think about that, it applies to your life and mine too.

Just in the first week of this year, I’ve heard of sad news of deaths in the family of two of my good friends. I’m not saying they’re flying like the bird too, but that you didn’t know how suddenly you’ll trip into the coffin, so be careful and do due diligence on reality check in life.

Who is reliable❔

I guess it is something we all continue to learn lifelong, for it is in our nature to jump from one idol to the next (and they can often be people). The fact is, we don’t know people. We will be surprised.

Jesus didn’t entrust Himself with men, because He knows the hearts of men (John 2:24). We don’t, so we are impressed. We idolise and regard higher than we should. Don’t you think people who think highly of you would be surprised too if they really know what goes on in your heart? But funny how we still idolise others easily, even after we have learnt repeatedly that the best men are men at best, all fallen creatures. Love, yes, idolise, we should never.

It only waits for when things are put to test, and our untested assumptions about them crumble so quickly. I have seen that in many ways, someone in areas I thought they’re surely skilled in, or unmet expectations for what I thought were quite basic for people holding certain positions, or the frailty of supposedly godly men when it comes to women and relationships, or when someone turns so quickly when it now touches their interest.

When better friends tell you, ‘I will disappoint you too,’ do trust them. When I say to you I will, trust me too. We all share that same frailty.

Look to your Savior, He alone is thoroughly reliable.

You will crush them out of shape

As my Strava bio says, I’m an ex-runner now trying to get back to walking (yes, shame on me!). What that normally means is that I walk to the nearest Maccas to get my mocha ☕, or soft serve (the choc one, yumm 😍) 🍦, or hashbrown! 🍟

On my walk one day, I saw this fence that’s really slanting as it’s pulled down by the force of the trees lining along its stretch that were just gripping it out of shape. The photos don’t quite look it, but it’s a lot more pronounced than how it appears here.

I stood there holding my takeaway mocha and pondered, it was nice to have the fence lining next to the plants. Metaphorically, like a company close by, those being right next to you, and also stand as a protection boundary from the wind and whatever else is out there to harm.

But don’t clinch on them too tightly, that’s when you’ll destroy them and yourself too. They’re not meant to carry the full weight of your soul. Think about what precious things you’ve been given in life to keep you company and afloat, enjoy but stand at an appropriate distance and don’t destroy them.

Be ready to lose

As Christians, one main change in us is that we do not live for ourselves any longer, for all we have (certainly our life) belongs to God who has ransomed us. What frees us to live is when our life is not about us. I’m learning more and more that everything I own is borrowed from God, they’re not mine to keep, but to steward them while we still have them.

When anything is taken away, it doesn’t actually make sense for us to be angry. It’s His to give and His to take away. If we think we deserve what we have as a fruit of our hard labour, we’ll be reluctant to give and be angry when it’s taken away. But they’re all gifts. So be ready, for all tangible things will be taken away eventually anyway. When they do, hopefully we are given the grace to recognise to whom all things belong.

Easier said than done, of course.

What are you feeding yourself with❓

Another thing I have learnt is the need to focus on my calling in life and not be distracted by (or worse still to follow) the cultural narrative of our time. To do that, it seems very important what I feed myself with.

Sometime last year, someone texted me on a Friday asking if I watched any Korean drama (and that if I do, Saturday is when people start binge watching). I replied, ‘no, I don’t watch any Korean drama.’ Then the next message went, ‘what about online games?’ I replied, ‘I also don’t play online games.’

‘Then what do you do when you’re free and bored??’

That caught me, and I thought, ‘… when am I free and bored..?’ 🙄 I cannot recall the last time I was sitting idling and feeling bored.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be watching any Korean drama or play any online games ever (if that’s how you do your leisure time, go for it), but that that conversation made me realise how people normally spend their weekend. And yes, I am thankful I have spent my time in other ways instead.

As said earlier, all our energy, time, health, capacity are given to us to steward them for God’s purpose. And of course there are many delightful moments as we do so, even as there are times we feel exhausted – but with a joy knowing it’s the right kind of tiredness.

I guess if we spend 5 minutes reading the bible on a Saturday morning, and 5 hours watching some drama that no doubt has its own narrative on what is life all about, then no wonder we become like the world. The bible says when salt loses its saltiness, then we are of no use. And that’s true, because it’s the world that influences us at that time, not the other way. And how does that happen but that we incessantly feed ourselves with the cultural narratives of the worldly kingdom.

Something I’ve noticed about the Christians in the Western world especially is we take the world’s standard as our cue. Hence, e.g., seminary students start asking for extension as a habit, just like any other college students.

Talking about college, being a Monash alumni, I am given the privilege of attending some seminars they run. What I find silly is that when I sign up for one, I first receive a notification email with all the details I need. Then, a week before the event, I receive another reminder. A day before, another reminder. One hour before! Another reminder.

Perhaps they’re trying to build up the suspense, but all it does it training me to ignore all the previous messages. Same thing with us in the Christian community. Nowadays, reliability and commitment is rare. We have committed to a meeting, but we need to be reminded a week before, a day before, on the day (not to build suspense, no I assure you, but because we’re afraid people forget 😕). Because..? We are just like the world.

Alright, I better stop talking about this, I have strong feelings about it. It’s normally only helpful when I speak to someone who gets where I am coming from and then for me to hear a perspective that chooses to give grace that in no way excuse the poor standards however.

Love covers ❤️

You know how we speak about choosing to love and let things pass. There’s wisdom in that too apart from just being kind.

But I was thinking about this thing we call ‘love covers’.

When you walk around, people see you and have impressions, but they don’t see the real filth in you because it’s hidden before others. And people treat you as they see you, which is incomplete and even quite inaccurate in a very real sense. Even without others’ love covering you, you’re already covered from them to begin with.

Before God however, He sees you completely. Yet He treats you as righteous, not only cover a little bit. Before God you are covered, but by Jesus’ blood this time, not men’s ignorance. Think about that. It’s truly mind boggling. A perfect God who is not disgusted at me for all the filth and wicknesness He sees clearer than even I myself am able to ever comprehend, and in love reaches down to cover me at the greatest cost to Himself. That’s the ultimate meaning of ‘love covers’.

The only question is why is this heart not marvel more and be more captivated by such love He’s shown, and what great patience toward me, and what gentle ways with me. May we who belong to Him and have known such love live more worthily of our calling as His children..