Like last year, I spent Chinese New Year home in Jakarta.

What greetings

Arrived in the evening, nephew came out to greet me, ‘gu gu (=auntie), do you want to go to mall?’ Well, he wants to go!

Niece asked, ‘gu gu, how old are you?’

‘Why do you ask?’

‘Because you look like a teenager.’

Whatever she wanted from me, she’s doing a better job than her brother! 😄

One auntie came and said, ‘Hey, Min* looks fat.’

*My chinese name

It happened a few days later another auntie said, ‘Hey, Min looks skinny.’

Only my brother is normal. He ordered my favorite chicken (Ayam Baraya!) in time for dinner and asked, ‘How’s everyone in Melbourne?’

Mom was anxious. It’s the time of the year when she stressed herself with self-expectation (mostly around preparation for prayer to ancestors + other gods). So I ended up tidying up the altar that very night (jetlagging at 1.30am Melb time, but to keep peace I did it and then went to sleep like a dead log).

The world through kids’ lens

The next day niece asked, ‘Where’s your husband, gu gu?’

When I said I have no husband, she said, ‘But every girl will have a husband when they grow up!’ I looked at her and realised she’s growing up so quickly (although with a wrong understanding of things). I said, ‘Well, not everyone. Some people don’t end up marrying.’

It turned out to be a segue, because she went on telling me about her crush. 😅

‘Because he is handsome,’ she said.

‘That’s it? If he’s handsome and nothing else, that’s not very good, is it?’

He made her nervous.

I told her, it comes and goes, for all she knows he may not matter next week, so take it easy, it’s not the most important thing in the world.

I’m reminded of my friends who are fathers and how they’re so concerned and protective over their daugthers when it comes to boys. Well, they should be! 7 years old and ready to give her heart away already..

My niece used to be quiet, but now she’s very chatty. One night in the car ride home, she asked me, ‘Do you know God loves everyone?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you know God knows everything too?’

‘Yes.’

‘But gu gu, why does God create bad people..?’

I said, ‘God creates people who are free to choose, and people choose to be bad. If He creates people who can only choose good, they’re robots and not people, right?’

She said, ‘Yes, and some bad kids just don’t listen to their parents.’

‘Do you listen to your parents?’

‘Yes I do.’

‘All the time?’

A bit of a pause.., then she replied, ‘Um, may be a little of the time I don’t.’

Haha.. She’s honest enough, and a curious child, I like that. 🙂

While she’s asking big questions, her little brother was watching Granny and Slendrina on YouTube. Turns out to be a horror video game, creeps me out when I saw it (google it and you’ll know what I mean, why would you fill your mind with THAT?).

He’s a very adorable child nonetheless, one of those who’ll call you when they see you and grin all day. Everyone loves him. He would ask for your permission too (although he doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer).

‘Gu gu, can we go to the mall?’

‘No.’

‘Can!’

Or, ‘Gu gu, go to Eisen’s house? (cousin next door)’

‘I can’t decide for you, ask your parents.’

‘You CAN decide!’

‘I think Eisen’s not home.’

‘Eisen’s home!’

‘Don’t go, there’s nobody at home.’

‘There’s BODY at home!’

Or sometimes in Chinese, ‘gu gu, ke yi ma?’ (=Can I?)

‘Bu ke yi.’ (=No, you can’t.)

‘KE YI!!’ (=Yes, I can!!) 

🤨 Seriously, little one, why do you even ask me if you decide on the answer already? Haha.

The cutest thing this holiday was he asked to sleep in my room.

‘Gu gu, hug 5 mins.’

After being hugged for a few min, he said ‘ok’ and went to sleep. Mins later,

‘I want water.’

Another few mins later, ‘I want to pee.’

Lastly, he mumbled softly to himself before falling asleep. 😄

Every night, that’s the routine: 5 mins hug -> drink water -> pee -> talk to self -> sleep.

One day he blatantly misbehaved repeatedly, so I said you don’t come to my room tonight if you continue that way. Later in the day he said he wanted to sleep in my room at night, I reminded him of what’s happened earlier. He said,

‘I want to sleep in gu gu’s room!’

‘Yes, but that’s not gonna happen today.’

‘But I want to sleep with gu gu.’

‘I know, but I don’t want to sleep with you.’

He protested, ‘But I want to!’

I said, ‘Not happening. We try again tomorrow, you listen to what I say.’

He looked stunt, I’m not sure if he understood. 😶

 

Chinese New Year

CNY back home is like Christmas in that it’s a time the family gathers.

One of my uncles said, ‘Don’t go back to Melbourne anymore. Come back for good. Help the family business, yeah?’ as he gave a brotherly slap on my back. All I could think of then was, ‘Ouch, my back pain!’ 😢

Meanwhile we’re cosying up at our home in Jakarta, some of our other family were elsewhere ‘fetching’ the god of wealth (财神).  Why?  Because the Chinese culture is particularly money-minded.  I mean, listen to the CNY songs.  I don’t know of any other culture where people usher in the new year by singing, 🎤

‘god of wealth arrives! 2x’ 🥁🥁

‘welcome the god of wealth into my home..’ 

‘money come rolling in..’ 💰💰

‘horse ticket .. ‘ 

It’s a bizzare way of singing into the new year, don’t you think? 🙄 

As with every family, ours is not without problems. Sadly I did hear of long-held grudges and ongoing conflicts. One auntie went to the extent of checking before taking a drink, just to ensure she didn’t end up consuming something that’s prepared by so-and-so.

Anyway, a few days later we had a nice family dinner when my other brother came from Medan. We had a good chat and nostalgia – from the scary ghost stories / encounters to all kinds of mischief we did as kids. Oh, and I learnt that I was actually the only child who’d been spanked by Mom (who’d have known? I remembered being beaten so many times and running for my life from her, so I always thought all my siblings had been the same.. 🤨).

We also talked about the kids they now themselves have. At one point, my brother said it was true what I said before (that kids are born evil i.e., not innocent by nature) after he experiences being a father. Hahah. I’m glad, otherwise I doubt you know your children enough if you think they’re born angels.

And of course..

And as with each time in Indo, I heard maid problems everywhere..

Ridiculously wasteful with home supplies. One day feeding the kid too early, other days too late a breakfast followed by early lunch. The knives are missing again. Better keep good ones separately so they don’t break it. Moved my things without consulting. Touching the inside pipe of the water dispenser with bare hands when replacing the empty bottle. Said there’s no boxes left when asked to pack stuffs, but when I went to the storeroom she’s just been to, stacks of empty boxes were right there. Ironed the supposed creased skirt into a completely smooth skirt. Made juice out of the oranges that was kept for prayer offering (Mom was furious at this hahah).

Well, how would they know? Do it yourself, all these tasks, and there’s nothing to complain.

One of them did irk me. One day I picked the empty water bottle she’s chucked into the bin in my room and told her to put it aside (the family keep it because one of our workers collect them to exchange for some extra cash). She said, ‘oh yea, I forgot.’ And again, and again. It makes me question, why do you keep discarding the bottles? Do you hate him or what? Why don’t you just let him have the bottles? That’s just annoying. Evil maid..

To live with anyone at all has its challenges, that’s for sure. Since in Indo many people live with maids too, imagine the additional stress that comes with it. No wonder half the problems I hear people concern themselves with are on maids, nannies, chauffers..

Anyway, that’s something I don’t have trouble with living in Melbourne.

But meanwhile I was still in Indo, waiting to attend my cousin’s upcoming wedding .. (to be continued)